Posted by: patenttranslator | April 8, 2012

What Would Happen If America Were Taken Over By China To Pay Off Its Debts?

 

One beautiful Friday morning not too long ago as I was starting my gas guzzling Town & Country van and turning on my radio, I heard the announcer on my preset music station say something that I had never heard before on that local station: “One billion listeners cannot be wrong!” These words in English were then followed by Chinese music, one Chinese melody after another, with the requisite plaintive violins, dramatic drums and other instruments that I am not familiar with.

What happened? I thought to myself. Did American economy finally collapse and the Chinese government stepped in to take over the country to make sure that the debts owed to the Chinese state will be repaid?

It takes me exactly 13 minutes to drive from my house to the bookstore where I was going that morning. As the radio station kept playing Chinese music, I was playing in my head the scenario of the Chinese takeover of my adopted country.

There would need to be only minimal changes in the political structure. The Chinese communist party would probably choose to keep the present political structure in place. Republicans would continue to make their traditional, pre-election noise to pander to the far right, and Democrats would continue to make their own version of their traditional, pre-election noise, pretending that they really care about the rest of the country, which of course they don’t. Many people still don’t seem to realize it, but the noise that Rs and Ds make, usually before an election, is completely meaningless.

After the elections, the Rs and Ds would be told how to vote on each and every issue in return for the money for the next election, just like before the takeover. The only change would be that instead of being controlled through the money from Wall Street, the Ds and Rs would be controlled through money from China. China has plenty of money because it has hundreds of millions of serfs who have to work for next to nothing. My country is not quite there yet, but the way things are going, my children probably will be. Since the Chinese state has more money than Wall Street, it could decide either to get rid of it, or incorporate it in a slightly modified political structure in some manner, perhaps as a buffer between the Chinese communist party and the Congress. But I am guessing that China would probably decide to get rid of Wall Street and lobbyists and pay Rs and Ds directly. It makes sense because it would save a lot of money.

China is really not a communist country anymore – there is more socialism on Wall Street than there is in what used to be called “Red China” these days. The bank bailouts are a typical example of how economy used to work in a communist economic system: When a big bank was about to collapse in a communist country due to fraud, criminality and gross mismanagement, the bank would be bailed out by tax payers because it was too big fail, which was exactly what happened here.

In contrast to that, banks would be allowed now to fail in modern China because they are not bigger than the party that is running the country. This is just one example of the fact that China is in many respects much more capitalistic these days than the United States.

So, hardly any changes would be required in the political structure, although there would be probably some changes in the economic structure, for example freeloading banks would be allowed to collapse when their casino games no longer bring in profits because everybody’s money has been more or less stolen already.

The one problem that China will have, when it starts taking over other countries to control them through Chinese capital, is the language problem.

This is a big problem for China. I tried to learn the Chinese language at one point, something like 35 years ago. I thought that it would be relatively easy for me because I was already studying Japanese and I really liked Japanese characters, which are based on Chinese characters. But when I realized that I would have to learn 4 pitched tones and a “toneless tone” which give the characters in the Chinese language their meaning, I chickened out after a few months and decided to concentrate on Japanese which has no tones.

How do you make Americans, who are so proudly monolingual and monocultural, learn Chinese and listen to Chinese music? It’s an impossibility. You might as well expect a high-level functionary in the Chinese communist party to learn fluent English.

When I left the bookstore after about 20 minutes, the sinister Chinese music was still being played on my favorite station, which is heard loud and clear throughout Easter Virginia and the northern part of North Carolina.

It was probably just a dry run. The Chinese government probably gave some money to the station to play traditional Chinese music to gauge the reaction of American public to Chinese music to see how best to prepare plans for the impending takeover of the country. On my way home I started searching for music through other stations on my preset buttons, but it was the usual menu consisting of Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Eminem, and Adele (God, I hate her, especially that one song in which she is completely out of tune, I think it’s called “Someone Like You”).

When I turned on the radio next day, I was relieved to hear that my station was back to the usual mix of latest American pop and rock hits. My guess is that there were too many  irate callers demanding that “American” music be played again on their station, especially callers from North Carolina, and the station management complied once the check from China was safely deposited.

The Chinese must be still trying to figure out what to do about the language problem.

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Responses

  1. Roman Empire took over a lot of powers and tribes. But there were no language problems. I am wondering why should the Chinese have problems with languages if they would decide to take over a state.

    For instance, China won’t have any language problem taking over Taiwan. Taiwanese are prepared to adopt and adapt their languages to Chinese, because we have languages on the island that are similar to Chinese, kind of Bayrish, Austrian or Badish to High German. Besides, there are certain advantages for the annex of Taiwan. “Ein Volk, eine Nation,…”

    Actually, if China should do anything in the direction of taking over other nations, it would look very differently. There was a book published in 2008 (http://www.rue89.com/chinatown/la-chinafrique-change-la-donne-sur-le-continent-africain), «La Chinafrique : Pékin à la conquête du continent noir». The authors depicted how China is doing the “right” business in taking over the power Westerners used to enjoy in Africa. In fact, China does not need to conquer or take over any other nations, not even Taiwan. The economic power makes Africa learning Chinese, getting to know China and becoming friendly to China.

    Quite a few Westerners are learning Chinese. Americans are no exceptions. No matter Republicans or Democrats, they all need China and are becoming friendly to China. I don’t think it necessary for China to try to take over a complicated nation like the US. The US as well as other nations will adjust themselves soon to the shift of power. (Joseph Nye on global power shifts – http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/joseph_nye_on_global_power_shifts.html)

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  2. Chinese is one of the most difficult languages in the world to learn. More people are learning Chinese now than a few decades ago, but most of them will give up after a few years.

    I know a guy who goes to the same gym. He is a medical doctor and learning Chinese is his hobby. He has been trying to learn it for about two years and went on vacation to China with his son, but he told me “I know that this is just a hobby for me”.

    He knows that he will never learn it, for instance to be able to speak it as well as you speak English, or as I speak Japanese.

    That was the final point of my post. That and the fact that Chinese version of state capitalism is more “capitalistic” than the American version of corporate capitalism, which is “socialistic”, but only for the corporations, not for people like me.

    Incidently, this post is not popular at all. Most of my posts have hundreds of views after a few days and a dozen “tweets” or “likes”, this one has nothing.

    It was a total flop. You seem to be the only person interested in the subject, probably because you are Chinese.

    But I had to do something about that weird feeling that I experienced one morning when I heard on the radio an announcer say “A billion listeners cannot be wrong”, which was followed by Chinese music on a station that up until that moment always played soft rock.

    So I wrote this post.

    Like

    • Mr. Vitek, this topic is somehow too heavy/difficult for “Otto-Normalverbraucher,” as the Germans of my younger days would say. I guess that is why less people are interested.

      You see, I am actually no Chinese. I am a Taiwanese, a citizen of a country that has never been recognized as a nation. However, I know that Taiwan is going to be annexed by China without great problems. People want to live on and they accept almost everything.

      But I know what you mean by “state capitalism” (Staatkap) and “corporate capitalism” which is more socialistic for the corporations than for the people. And I appreciate this writing of yours just as much as your other writings.

      Thank you!

      Like

  3. “[T]he American version of corporate capitalism . . . is ‘socialistic,’ but only for the corporations, not for people like me.”
    Bingo!

    That “like” button creates something of a dilemma — there should be more options, perhaps “like the post, but hope the predictions are wrong,” or “don’t agree with the post, but it raises some important points,” etc.
    I did like it, and found it not entirely farfetched. It must have been a disconcerting ride.

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  4. Hi Paula:

    1. Good to see you patronize my humble blog’s comments again!

    2. Unfortunately, the “like” button is the only option that you get from Facebook. It’s sort of like elections here, except that during elections in this country people are only allowed to chose between two (2) really disgusting people the person who disgusts them less.

    3. It was supposed to be a parody and parodies are by definition farfetched. I should probably keep working on the style and the substance.

    Like

    • Don’t be so quick to fault your style. I think it is likely (ahem) that the parody hit home and made some readers uncomfortable, and that that accounts for the lack of tweets and likes.
      Of course, it might be that people disagree with you and don’t want to spread your views. But somehow I don’t think that this will deter you from writing more. I hope not.

      Re point 2:
      Sounds like you’re suggesting a “holding my nose and clicking because nothing better is on offer” button?
      In fact, there are other options, but they require more effort than just pulling a lever once every four years. (I’m sure you know that, too.)

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  5. “In fact, there are other options, but they require more effort than just pulling a lever once every four years. (I’m sure you know that, too.)”

    I’m afraid I don’t know what the other options are. The way I see it, the system is designed to herd people to polls every four years and make them vote for the candidate who stinks slightly less. About half the people usually stay home these days.

    But this is a blog for translators. Maybe we can discuss this at the next ATA conference if we both go.

    It’s safer that way.

    Like

    • “Maybe we can discuss this at the next ATA conference if we both go.”
      I look forward to that!

      Like

  6. the british and france are the one to help africans.devenlopment.when if the chinese make it all along what will hapen next,

    Like


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